Don’t let it in! – Tips to Stay Assertive

Sometimes it is hard to stay assertive when the other person is being aggressive. It is easy to get pulled into their game.

We find ourselves taking things personally and responding defensively after being verbally attacked by the other person. We might retaliate and attack them back.

It is important not to take things personally. This concept presents itself in many different teachings.

If you have heard of the “The Four Agreements”, they are:

1. Be impeccable with your word.
2. Don’t take anything personally.
3. Don’t make assumptions.
4. Always do your best.

There is a classic list of cognitive distortions that we aim to be mindful of in our daily lives. Two of these are present in the above list: Making assumptions and taking things personally.

In our interactions with others, it is important not to take things personally and not make assumptions about the situation or the other person.

If we have confidence in ourselves, our values, and in our beliefs, we are not affected by the opinions of others. If we do not feel this level of confidence yet, we can act as if we do. It is amazing how other people respond when we act as if we have confidence!

Don’t let it in. If someone insults you or criticizes you, don’t let it in. Their opinions do not control you. Our society has become increasingly judgmental, so don’t let it in.