Emotional grooming is about controlling the partner or spouse. People engage in this behavior when they feel insecure in relationships, and they lack the ability to trust their partners. They feel threatened if the partner has other friendships or other activities, and they fear that the partner may leave them.
They mitigate their own fears by controlling aspects of the partner’s life such who they spend time with, who they talk to, or where they go.
An emotional groomer may track their partner’s location on their phone or insist on having access to emails and text messages.
Since they do not trust their partner, they keep secrets from their partner such as their own activities. They do not allow their partner access to their text messages or emails, so the flow of information is one way.
Neither person in such a relationship is happy since their attention is consumed with what the partner is doing instead of working toward common goals.
Building a ‘life worth living’ while trapped in a controlling relationship is usually not unattainable since autonomy is not possible and mutual support does not exist.
Remember: A healthy relationship depends upon mutual trust. Controlling relationships are rarely reparable, and the most common solution is to end the relationship.