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Are you aware of your judgments? How about your use of the word, “should?” When you have thoughts that incorporate the word, “should,” (or related synonyms such as supposed to, must, need to, or ought to) the end result is negative emotions such as frustration, resentment, overwhelm, or discouragement.
We can direct the now-forever-banned “should” towards ourselves or towards others. If directed inward, the message is, “I should ______, but I’m not.” Such language is self-defeating and contributes to a negative self-concept and a negative view of the self.
If you notice this kind of self-talk, think of ways to remove the “should” (or similar words). Think of phrases such as “I choose to,” or “I want to,” to rewrite the script.
If our use of “should” is directed toward others, then we become frustrated with them, which results in resentment or anger towards the other person.
Practice being open and willing with whatever they are doing. Show compassion. There may be extenuating circumstances that explain the behavior. Accept others for who they are.
The non-judgmental stance parallels our mindfulness work of observing and describing. Notice your descriptions. Are there any judgments there — words like right, wrong, good, bad, smart, stupid, pretty, ugly, fair, unfair, or lazy? Keep descriptions objective and factual to avoid judgments.