by 
“The way things are,” to take a quote from “Babe,” embodies the concept that we accept as truth our early experiences (and conclusions drawn from them), our culture, and our views about ourselves. Practicing acceptance helps us to find peace in this situation so that we do not fight reality.
What if the conclusions we have drawn about ourselves and the world are incorrect? How would we know? When does a person pause to question long-held beliefs?
Sometimes we arrive at a crossroads where we determine that things are just not working. We feel anxious, sad, lonely, unwanted, or a host of other negative feelings, and decide that something needs to change.
Now here is the dialectic: Acceptance vs. Change. Or as is outlined in the Serenity Prayer: accept what we cannot change, change what we can, and have the wisdom to know the difference. It may be time to exercise wisdom to know that bad feelings can be changed. If we operate from the premise that everyone has the potential to be happy, and we are not happy, then something needs to change.
Focusing now on effecting change to our maladaptive beliefs, we put pressure on the old belief in two ways.
First, we discount the old belief. We ask if it is true and we look for evidence to discredit it. This belief can soon lose its power.
Second, we cultivate a new belief. We use positive self-talk and affirmations to develop and strengthen this new belief. We build evidence (paying attention to cognitive distortions trying to resist the change) that supports the new belief. We use other mental exercises to visualize ourselves maintaining this belief and behaving as if it were true.